How to Use a Strap-On Dildo: A Beginner’s Guide

Learning how to use a strap on dildo can feel exciting but also a little overwhelming at first. Whether you’re curious about pegging for beginners, exploring intimacy with your partner, or simply curious about strap on harness play, this guide will help you feel confident and prepared.

This complete beginner’s guide covers everything from choosing your first strap on dildo for women and couples to wearing the harness, using lube, trying new positions, and keeping things safe.

1. Start by Choosing the Right Strap On

Before you learn how to wear a strap on dildo, you need the right toy and harness:

• Pick the right size: Beginners should start with small strap on dildos (5–7 inches long, 1–1.5 inches girth). Easy to control and less intimidating.
• Choose safe materials: A silicone strap on dildo is body-safe, non-porous, and easy to clean.
• Find the right harness: A beginner strap on harness should be adjustable, supportive, and comfortable. Jock-style harnesses are secure, while panty harnesses feel more discreet.

👉 Related read: How to Choose a Strap-On Dildo

2. Get Comfortable with the Harness

Using a strap on is about confidence. Spend time practicing with your strap on harness for beginners before you involve your partner:

• Adjust the straps until it feels snug and supportive.
• Practice thrusting motions and walking while wearing the harness.
• Do a dry run with a pillow to get used to the movement.

👉 Pro tip: Some couples prefer strapless dildos, which give direct stimulation to the wearer as well.

3. Communication is Key

The best strap on sex experience comes from communication. Talk openly with your partner about:

• What positions feel most comfortable.
• Whether you’re trying pegging with a strap-on or vaginal penetration.
• Establishing a safe word to stop if things get too intense.

👉 Related read: Strap-On or Strapless? Which One Feels Better for Women

4. Use Plenty of Lube

No matter your play style—vaginal or anal strap on play—lube is essential.

• Always use a water-based lube with silicone dildos.
• Apply generously to the dildo and your partner.
• Keep lube handy for reapplication.

5. Start Slow and Steady

For first-timers using a strap on dildo for couples:

• Begin with shallow, gentle thrusts.
• Focus on rhythm instead of speed.
• Ask your partner for feedback frequently.
• Start with beginner strap on sex positions like spooning or missionary before trying advanced positions.

6. Explore Fun Strap On Positions

Once you feel confident, experiment with different strap on positions for beginners:

• Doggy Style: Great control and deep penetration.
• Missionary: Intimate and face-to-face.
• Spooning: Perfect for slower, sensual play.
• Cowgirl/Reverse Cowgirl: The receiver controls the speed and depth.

👉 Related read: 8 Best Strap-On Dildos for Beginners in 2025

7. Aftercare and Cleaning

Proper aftercare ensures safety and intimacy after strap on play:

• Wash your dildo with warm water and toy cleaner after every use.
• Wash fabric harnesses as recommended.
• Cuddle, talk, and reassure each other—aftercare is key to good strap-on sex.

👉 Related read: Where Can I Buy a Strap On Dildo?

FAQs About Using Strap On Dildos

Do strap on dildos feel good for the wearer?

Yes. While penetration is felt by the receiver, many wearers enjoy the control, roleplay, and seeing their partner’s pleasure. Strapless strap ons also provide direct stimulation for the wearer.

Can beginners use a strap on for pegging?

Absolutely! Just start with a small pegging dildo, use lots of lube, and go slow.

Can I use the same dildo for vaginal and anal play?

It’s best to use separate toys, or clean thoroughly before switching.

Take action now

Learning how to use a strap-on dildo doesn’t have to be complicated. Start with the right size, a body-safe dildo, and a comfortable harness. Communicate with your partner, use plenty of lube, and focus on enjoying the moment.

When you’re ready, explore new positions, experiment with vibration or strapless designs, and discover what feels best for both of you.

👉 Ready to explore? Browse our selection of strap on dildos for beginners and find the perfect match for your first adventure.